Welcome to part 4 of the discovering your why for weight loss series! In this article it’s all about the motivation to lose weight that comes from love and attraction.
Here is the introduction to the series, if you don’t know what “Finding Your Why” is yet, and how powerfully motivating it is for weight loss.
Discovering Your “Why” Part 1- The Strongest Motivation for Weight Loss
The motivation that comes from wanting to be more attractive is a particularly strong and widely felt source of motivation, but also one of the most highly avoided in conversation.
Most people will not openly admit how highly driven they are to lose weight by attraction, sex, and romance, not just to other people, but to themselves. Although this is the strongest motivator for so many people, lots of people feel pressured to pick another source of motivation over appearance… one that sounds more noble, selfless, or related to health.
Peoples’ doctors will tell them that they are at risk, and they will feel guilty that they are still more motivated by things related to attraction than internal health.
But I always say that it’s best to embrace and focus on what motivates you the most, because if it leads you to successfully transforming yourself, the end result will be the same… meaning you’ll get to experience all of the benefits of weight loss at once, both health and attractiveness included.
You may feel that focusing on attraction/aesthetics is not the “right” answer and shy away from it, but you can’t change what you want, and being motivated by having a good body doesn’t mean that you can’t experience all of the other amazing rewards that come along with success.
When I first started my journey, I realized that most of my motivation was coming from the fact that I was often around this beautiful girl I liked, and I felt like a slob. I was very honest with myself about this, and the fact that I wanted to look better.
As time passed my “Why” shifted, but every step of the way it was important for me to understand what it was that moved me the most, so that I could have a strong vision for my life/body goals, assign meaning for every healthy decision that I made, and ultimately be able to have the willpower to consistently improve myself without giving up.
So embrace love, and the motivational power it brings!
When looks come your way
If you’ve been overweight and not confident for your whole life, you might be used to expecting a 0% chance of getting a second look from someone you’re attracted to on a normal basis.
It’s a very common thing to hear from people who have successfully lost a significant amount of weight, that their body transformed much faster than their confidence did. So sometimes when a gaze comes your way after getting in shape, you’re like, “why are they staring at me?”
We’ve all been through that scene in the movies where we thought someone we liked was talking to us, but they were really looking at the popular fit person behind us. I’ve been through it all too many times.
But eventually there comes a day when you look and there’s no one standing behind you, and just like in the movies you want to point to yourself and ask “me?”
So all of that is to say that losing weight really does make a big difference in your appearance and physical attraction, but it takes a while to adjust. Confidence isn’t as free as you would think.
The possibility of someone new
So beyond simply attracting a few very welcome looks that come your way… losing weight opens up a much greater possibility of landing a date with someone you’re excited about, not just because of how you look but because of how you feel about yourself.
When you’re in good shape and you feel great about yourself, there’s a much higher chance that when you do meet someone you’re attracted to, that they will feel the same.
Your shape and confidence open up a world of opportunities for you, not just in how the opposite sex feels about you, but in how YOU feel about you and the actions it allows you to take that you might not have before.
More confidence on dates
Of course, meeting each other is just the first part of the story.
What may be even more exciting / relieving, is actually being able to be more confident on the date itself, which offers a much longer period of time to either feel nervous, or enjoy yourself.
But when you’re not constantly worrying about your body the nervousness can manifest as a good type of tension.
It’s nice to just be able to focus on talking and having fun without worrying so much about how you look, or if you’re sweating, or if you’ll have the courage to take off your clothes even if you want to.
You can just be you. A confident and relaxed you.
Rekindling past attractions with your spouse
Some of the most inspiring transformation pictures and stories that you see are couples that have lost weight, or when one or the other of a married couple loses weight and it changes both of their lives.
It must be amazing for them to not only return to the former healthy versions of themselves as individuals… but also as two people who share their lives. It must be incredibly profound to go through… like turning the clock back 10 years on your physical relationship.
When one or both of a couple goes through a major weight loss transformation, it changes the lives of both in multiple ways.
From living an active life outside in the world, to being active and happy around the house, to being confident in bed, getting in shape is great for couples in every way.
Tips to get you in much better shape before your next date
Remember that it’s not just about making a temporary change that will make you lose weight, it’s about making sure that you are making permanent changes at a pace that you can maintain, and stick with until you reach your ideal weight, and afterwards as you live life with healthy habits and an attractive shape.
So instead of thinking, “I want to be in great shape before my next date,” give yourself a break, and the best chance for long-term success, by thinking “I am going to consistently work towards my ultimate goal, and I’ll inevitably be in better shape before my next date.”
Start eating more natural, whole, nutritious foods every day. Replacing processed, unhealthy junk foods with healthy foods is the most effective, easiest, and most sustainable way to work towards your goal of losing a significant amount of weight.
So simply keep focusing on what’s important. With concern to your weight loss method that means eating healthy, and with concern to your motivation it means keeping your eye on what’s most important to you.
With consistent effort and healthy improvements, the attractive body you dream of having, can be right around the corner.
Have you ever seen someone else go from fat to fit, and thought, “wow they got hot!”
Don’t doubt that the same will happen for you.
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This is part 4 of the discovering your why series. Here are the rest of the articles in this series:
Part 1- The Strongest Motivation for Weight Loss
Part 4- For love and attraction
Part 5- For improved physical ability
